A Day I Will Never Forget

(I wrote this on Feb 12, 2010)

I'm less than 24 hours away from seeing my girl. I've dreamed about this for months. Months. My plane is hovering 35,000 feet above the Tatar Strait which is 1500 miles away from my stop. In front of me is a 4 x 6 LCD screen promptly showing my flight progress. Below that is my eBook reader, neatly tucked in this kangaroo like pocket. It holds magazines and flyers that I can't understand. Definitely Korean. On my left is a girl whose love for electronics is as apparent as mine. To my right is this girl who's been sleeping like a baby the whole time. The flight attendants dimmed the lights, most of the passengers are already asleep. I've watched reruns of AFV, a couple of movies back to back. A pretty impressive feat especially for someone with a short attention span.

My dad had a heart attack the day before I left. I was talking to my friend on the phone when all of a sudden my dad yelled "Jules!....my chest hurts, pls call your mom or your Ate Maureen. Here is my Medicare card. I called my cousin, I was already starting to get nervous, I told her I can drive my dad to the hospital in car. I got a call from her again saying it might be better if we called 911 and for us to go back. Part of me wanted to turn my emergency lights on and drive like a bat out of hell, but I'm glad I listened to my cousin. I made a U-turn and drove my dad back to the house. A couple of minutes passed and I heard the sirens from a fire truck. I opened the front door, then I muscled Lucky in Jun's room. I've never seen fire fighters and paramedics in my living room, nor the stretcher they usually have in tow. They kept asking my dad for his medical history. I happen to glance at my dad's face…it's an expression I've never seen before… It scared me. Lucky heard all the commotion in the living room but instead of barking he was whimpering, he was trying to claw his way out of Jun's room. As is if he knew that there was something wrong with my dad. Everything was surreal, I've never seen a family member being taken inside the ambulance before. It's something I never want to see again. My heart sank when they closed those 2 big red doors and was told I wasn't allowed inside. I don't know how long I stared at that door handle…my heart kept yelling "Dad! !! Dad!!" I didn't even know exactly when my cousin and uncle showed up. My cousin Ate Maureen was on the other end of my cell, I was trying to get a hold of my mom with our home phone that I never use, the paramedics were asking me questions about the type of prescription my dad takes as I frantically search for my mom's work number. "Dad!!! Dad!!!" They were all happening at the same time.

When I got to the hospital, I sat near the fountain and waited for my brother to arrive. I still have no idea where the EMT's took my dad. When Jun came we sat side by side. It was a couple of minutes before one us uttered a word. We finally got a call from my mom and she met us downstairs, where the ER was located. Tito Maning, Tito Ralph, Tita Vilma, Kuya Mario, Ate Maureen, my mom, my brother and I congregated in the waiting area for what seemed like an eternity. Finally a doctor showed up, and told us that my dad is stable. It felt hard to breathe, and I finally let out a long sigh of relief. A few minutes later another doctor popped out of the emergency room and immediately said, "Who should I tell the news to?" My mom and I were seated next to each other as the Filipino doctor approached her. "He's stable, your husband had a heart attack. He was very lucky that he got here just in time." My mom asked her a few more questions until they wheeled my dad out. He was smiling, and seemed OK. I never thought I was gonna see him again. Everyone in that waiting area was trying to talk to my dad all at once. Except me. We made eye contact and I heard my dad say to the doctor, "Can I please talk to one of them?" I knew he meant me. The doctor said he'll be able to talk to us once he gets wheeled in to the Critical Care Unit. We all followed the two doctors and my dad to his new room. As we were walking that long hallway, I felt a slight tap from my younger brother…"You did good man..". Then my Ate Maureen, hugged me and told me things are gonna be Ok.

I told Kuya August what I felt about the situation. I was torn between cancelling my trip or staying home to take care of him. I didn't know what to do. I've never been so confused before. I talked to my dad and he said he'll be Ok. I'm not sure if I believe him. I was emotionally drained, my brother suggested we go home and grab something to eat. As soon as we got back in the house, it reminded me of what happened just 6 hours ago. Couch cushions were over turned, the coffee table was pushed against the TV, the balikbayan box was shoved towards the bathroom door to make way for the stretcher. My mom and my brother helped me pack. Needless to say, I didn't get enough sleep. My mind was doing what it does best. Worrying. My girl was very supportive and was checking up on me constantly, she's a blessing in her own right.

I said my goodbye to my younger brother and Lucky . I told Jun to update me every chance he gets. Ate Maureen picked me up and my mom followed us to the hospital. We were relieved to see dad awake. My mom recognized the Filipino nurse treating him, they used to work together at the Kidney Center in Seattle. I found it hard to look at my dad in the eyes. I held his hand and he said not to worry. In my mind, it's easier said than done. I hugged my mom, and kissed her on the cheek. I couldn't compose myself enough and so I decided to go and catch my flight. I looked back and I saw my dad still laying on the hospital bed, my mom holding his hand. I will never forget that image. I started to cry as I walked out of the hospital. I'm praying I'm doing the right thing :(